


Conceal

by TheDeathEcchi



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 05:09:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17892095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeathEcchi/pseuds/TheDeathEcchi
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple intelligence-gathering mission. But ‘Junkrat’ and ‘simple’ were two things that just didn’t go together, like oil and water, or creamed corn and ketchup. Of course Junkrat saw a pretty bauble. And of course it was in an unguarded display case. And of course he stole it. And of course the alarm was loud enough to stretch across half a city block. And of course they had to run. And of course they had to steal—again—to disguise themselves and sneak out of the city.





	Conceal

**Author's Note:**

> Interesting story about this! Originally it was a gift ficlet to someone I knew from someplace I used to hang out but [Seinfeld: yadda yadda] and not rather than having it be exclusive to that person, I’m now sharing it with you fine folk. ^^ Overwatch might be on a bit of a downslope and Blizzard might be going a bit cray cray right now, but the story’s not over until we say it is. That’s why we do what we do, and write what we write. Enjoy~!

“Aiyah!” huffed Mei, puffing out her cheeks in irritation. “Jamie, must everything be an ordeal with you?”

Junkrat’s face split into a wide grin. “Sheila, yer one ta talk ‘bout ordeals—”

“Don’t you finish that sentence!” shot back the brunette, her face bright red. “Let’s just get on the train.” The Australian scoffed as Mei pushed him through the turnstile.

It was supposed to be a simple intelligence-gathering mission. But ‘Junkrat’ and ‘simple’ were two things that just didn’t go together, like oil and water, or creamed corn and ketchup. Of course Junkrat saw a pretty bauble. And of course it was in an unguarded display case. And of course he stole it. And of course the alarm was loud enough to stretch across half a city block. And of course they had to run. And of course they had to steal—again—to disguise themselves and sneak out of the city.

Of _course_.

“Sometimes you frustrate me so much!” hissed Mei as they bustled through the crowd. Even with her pilfered sunhat hiding much of her face from view, her fury was present, an invisible aura that redirected the people around her and her explosive partner, water around a moving, icy rock.

“Toldjya ah can get under yer skin.” chuckled the demoman, his voice only slightly muffled by the cough mask concealing his face. 

Shaking her head and muttering in agitated Chinese, she pressed on. Eventually the two found their train, just barely managing to avoid law enforcement and board.

It was packed, but not overly so, and they were luckily able to get a pair of seats, next to an apparently sleeping man in a hoodie. And of course, Junkrat was restless as always. 

“Can’t you stop fidgeting for five minutes?” Mei chided. 

“It’s difficult!” replied Junkrat. “Gotta get mahself fixed up. All these bombs, make even sittin’ a chore.”

“Well, you should’ve thought of that before—” Mei cut herself off, looking at her teammate in abject horror. “Your _what_?”

“Figured we’d need ‘em.” He shrugged, leaning back. Completely oblivious to Mei’s terror and barely-restrained fury.

“Why...on Earth...would you think that!?”

“‘Be prepared and have no regrets’, darl!”

“Jamie, you are going to send me to an early grave! Do you know what is going to happen to us if they discover you have bombs on board!?”

“Well, ah’m guessing they ain’t gonna fuck spiders.”

Mei looked at Junkrat as if he sprouted a second head. “I… _what_?”

“It’s an Aussie thing.” he chuckled. “You wouldn’t get it.”

“That _can’t_ be an Australian thing. Or any kind of thing.”

“Can and is! Anyway, ain’t no one gonna find out, all’s well and g—”

His words were cut off as the train bounced abruptly, making Junkrat jump.

And begin ticking. 

Junkrat’s trademark smirk was gone, replaced by a look of horror to match Mei’s own.

“Junkrat...why are you ticking?”

“T...Turkey’s done?”

Mei gripped the front of Junkrat’s stolen shirt. 

“How long?”

“Maybe two minutes?”

“Can you deactivate it?”

“Not without lettin’ everyone on this here train knowin ‘bout it.”

Mei was regretting this mission more and more as time went by. “Jamison Fawkes,” she spoke, her voice low and quiet, but dangerous as a readied blade. “I want you to listen very closely. If I die because of bombs you foolishly brought with you on what was supposed to be an easy mission, I will kill you.”

“M-Mei, it don’t really work like tha—”

“Jamison. Fawkes.”

Panicking, Junkrat looked around, desperate for somenway, any way out of this scenario. 

And somehow, blessedly, he was given one.

The man next to him suddenly stood, brandishing a firearm. Someone noticed, someone screamed, and he spoke. 

“No funny business, any of you! Just hand over your valua—”

He didn’t get to finish. Junkrat reached into his bag, pulling out the band of active bombs, shoving them into the would-be thief’s hands, grabbing him around the waist, and hurling him through the window, sending gummy chunks of glass to the train floor. Seconds later, a massive explosion sounded, rocking the train only slightly.

Mei looked up at Junkrat with a dropped jaw. “Did...did you just—”

“Ya said ‘do something’!”

Hands balled into fists, Mei said “When I said ‘do something’, that is far and away not what I meant, you...you—”

Whatever name she deigned to call him was lost forever in her mind as the commuters quickly swarmed them, screaming and hollering their thanks and jubilation. Mei wasn’t sure which she found worse, the cheers from the crowd for Junkrat’s explosive distraction, or the ridiculously smug look on his face.

-/-/-/-/-

“Explain.” growled 76, thrusting a newspaper before Junkrat and Mei. While their hands were extended to block out the camera, anyone familiar with the two of them (namely the entire revived Overwatch) could tell it was them. The headline bore the title “Mystery heroes save would-be train hijacking!” in thick bold print.

“Okay, see, what happened was—”

Mei faces Junkrat and fixed him with a desperate, murderous glare, speaking in a tone that chilled the air and rattled his bones. “ _Shush._ ”

“Y-Yes, ma’am.”

And so Mei regaled the grizzled soldier with their tale of botched escape and frantic covering of their tracks, the frown in his face deepening with each word until Mei’s voice devolved into a mishmash of embarrasses squeaks. When she finished, 76’s arms were folded tight enough they looked as if they’d snap off, and while he normally didn’t look happy at all, now he looked downright _angry_. 

Turning his hawkish gaze to Junkrat, he spoke in a tone like crunching gravel. “And do you have anything to say for yourself?”

The Australian chuckled nervously. “Er...well, ev’ry one gets a mulligan, yeah?”

“Latrine duty. One month.”

“Wha!?”

“Two months.”

“But—!”

“Three months.”

“Hey, I was just—”

“Four months latrine duty?”

Junkrat, wisely, stayed silent.

“Starting immediately. Supplies are in the storage closet on floor six.”

“Sir.” replied Junkrat through gritted teeth before stomping off.

76 faced Mei, the climatologist flinching at his steely look.

“Try not to let this happen again.”

“Sir.”

END


End file.
